Social media reciprocity (and why it's bad)

Now, I'm not taking it as personally as that sounds. If anything, I applaud their fortitude and forthrightness in not promoting a link (mine) they don't wholeheartedly endorse. Furthermore, I find the component of netiquette that demands reciprocity to be somewhat cumbersome socially and counterproductive to the utility of social networks. Ideally, we are promoting and sharing content we find interesting so that like-minded individuals can find this content and be entertained or edified along with us. Instead, we get more social and less network, with people linking the work of friends and coworkers out of loyalty instead of some level of interest that is objective and not personal. 

I am not suggesting loyalty is a bad thing. It's a very positive character trait, and one that I value very highly on a personal level. Facebook, Twitter, and the other social networks that matter are not private parties between friends, though.  They are open forums that allow for transmissions of information in a way that is, at very least, partially public. There are a few things about these circumstances that should inform our behavior a little differently:

1) Sharing/retweeting/reposting links from your contacts will have little to no effect. Think of your own web-surfing habits: do you ever click links you that you don't think will entertain or educate you? No, you don't; in fact, you are very discriminating, avoiding links that don't appear informative or entertaining enough for your high standards based on little more than a thumbnail and/or a descriptive blurb. While you may be quick to click the links of your friends, comment on them, praise them, and plaster them all over any place on the internet that allows you to do so, the rest of your friend/contact/follow lists will not be bound by the same level of loyalty. They will simply use the same filter they always do, and not because they're uncaring jerks, but simply because that is the kind of autopilot all of us use for navigating the internet. 

2) Your loyalty is bound to please the person whose link you are promoting... and that's about it. Everyone else is learning gradually that you post links in which they are not interested. Slowly but surely, you are teaching them to ignore you. The next time you have something to share, it will be viewed with some level of prejudice, even if they would be interested once they'd given the notion of your link a fair shake.  Not only are you stripping yourself of the power to promote your friends, but also yourself. 

3) Reciprocity is fragile. As my own experiences indicate, not everyone sees your loyalty to them as something they want to or should pay back. If you view your relationship with these people as primarily social, it can be a little hurtful or insulting. If you view your relationship as purely professional, it can be even more damaging: since you recieve little to no benefit from the free favors you are doing for someone else, you stop doing it. Suddenly there is nothing friendly about you relationship, and it becomes entirely based on quid-pro-quo at full retail markup. 

So now having said that, I think the best way to treat the links of friends and colleagues is the same way you would treat any link. If they link interests you on a level that transcends your personal connection to the link's author, then feel free to evangelize. In fact, I urge you to do so. If you're actually thrilled about it, your excitement will shine through, and ideally it will be infectious zeal that rallies your contacts to attention. If you are not interested in the link, then despite your connection to the link's author, ignore it. I promise you that your contacts are far too intelligent to miss your lack of excitement. Although it may be more difficult that mechanically fulfilling your social obligation, you will actually help the link's author by showing them that no one- not even close friends- care to read or view that material. Hopefully, they will begin to produce or share more appealing content. The notion that you could take an interest in what they produce is admirably loyal, but ultimately wishful thinking. 

When I see the state of social networks today, I see we have a long way to go. On Twitter, there is a phenomenon called Follow Fridays, in which people post the Twitter profiles of people they find interesting. It is a way of encouraging their contacts to follow those interesting tweeters. Obviously, it has devolved into the same kind of mutual back-scratching that only creates more useless static and numbness. Follow your friends? Why should I? What do they have to say? To date, I have not followed a single person as a result of a Follow Friday recommendation, and I doubt very much that anyone has followed someone on my recommendation. This is why have completely given up on it as a fun but ultimately pointless experiment. To those who have very honestly ignored the content I produce, I thank you very sincerely. You've given me a valuable lesson and forced me to produce content that is more compelling to John Q. Public, and work on strategies for traffic generation that don't involve my wonderful and supportive friends. I am eager to make this courtesy reciprocal; consider this post my down payment.