If you're anything like me, you hate Twitter spammers. This kind of thing is especially troubling when you think you have a new follower and soon discover that it is not a real person following you, but a pornbot that wants to sucker you into clicking a link. Fortuntely, it is very easy to spot porn spam if you know what to look for.

I have no reason to lie: I get kind of upset when people send me invitations on Facebook to become fans of something they are trying to publicize. I usually do it anyway, because for people in my line of work it means money in their pockets (or does it? more on this later) but when it comes time for me to push my work, no one gives a good goddamn about repaying favors. 

I'm not known as Twitter's biggest fan. I've griped extensively, on many occasions and in many forums, on the problems with Twitter. Just so I won't have to get into that again, I feel it's biggest problem is not technical, it's the fact that it's users are thrilled to death that they are using it and at the same time, by and large they have no clue what they're doing on it.

Having said that, yesterday's debacle regarding @replies was something of an embarrassment to the service, but it backed up my point perfectly. While Twitter was having backend issues, they tried to cover it up by suggesting the @replies were too complicated and causing confusion. Let's examine that claim for a moment: it goes without saying that the Twitter brass made a colossally bad decision in lying during a press release, but it's something of a testament to the utter ignorance of it's users. Techmeme and other aggregators began collecting dozens of editorials suggesting that the move was condescending. I'm hoping the irony of this is not lost on you: The tech press and public was effectively fooled by Twitter's early claims, yet outraged that they were being treated like idiots. Hey, stupids: you wouldn't know the truth if it bit you on the ass, which it happened to do later that day. If Twitter failed, then so did all the ignorant wags.

When you examine the content on Twitter, much of it is still some form of Twittershock: A lot of posts are simply enthusiasm for Twitter, or complaints about it, or boasts about the amount of followers the user has, or proclamations that it is the greatest thing ever, or pronouncements that Twitter is dead, or some combination thereof. When I think about all the press from yesterday, it is clear to me that not only does the public not understand fully what Twitter is, but they have no idea how to make it work for them in any sort of practical way. This leads to a great deal of chatter about Twitter on Twitter.

Was the tool built as giant exercise in metatext? Definitely not, but the more it veers in that direction, the more it pulls toward it's own demise. As the savvy 5% become inundated by the volume of pointless metatextual chatter from the other 95%, they find themselves in an increasingly insular community that is ill-equipped to educate the masses. For the masses, it is a flavor of the month, a drill in keeping up with the Jonses that will ultimately be left by the wayside when the next new fad comes along. In the meantime, it's practical potential is slowly choked by the way it is actually being used. So am I predicting it's death? Not by a longshot. However, before it sees its true potential realized, I feel sure that it is destined to be rejected by the public when the giddiness of exclaiming "look ma, I'm on Twitter!" wears off.

Ever since I began using MySpace in 2003, I've consistently run into trouble by either running my mouth, hitting up strangers or replying to strangers that turned out to be trouble, or simply having friends disclose private information for all the world to see.

While this has been more of a personal problem for me, it has been life-changing for some. In the last year and a half, people from all walks of life have lost their jobs due to Social Networking indiscretion. Some of these include a bank intern, A pro-football cheerleader, and some KFC food service workers. Of course, others have faced even more serious circumstances for their indiscretions, including divorce, permanently sullied reputations, or even death.

While the negative impact for you may be smaller, it can still be minimized or eliminated by following these 10 simple rules:

1) NEVER list your contact information - While networks like LinkedIn thrive on this type of data, there is no reason to list your phone number or address on networks like Facebook and MySpace. If you want to distribute this information to your friends, consider distributing it via individual private communiques or an email blast if you're pressed for time.

2) Avoid emotional posting - while you may feel strongly about recent events or circumstances in your private life, you would do well to realize that that is the worst time to post information on social networks. You won't be angry or sad or upset forever, and you will often find that by the time you decide to take down your embarrassing confession or disclosure, everyone on your friend list has already seen it. Remove yourself in moments of stress, or at very least, instead of posting your anguish, write it down in a saved file and publish it only after you'd had a few hours to clear your head.

3) Be selective with your friends - these networks have 2 main purposes (from a user standpoint): connect with your current friends and make new ones. You wouldn't be friends with any idiot on the street who walks up and requests it, so why would you give access to people who are even more anonymous? Be choosy. Your friendship should not be cheap, so be sure to vet everyone who approaches you. I mean, sure, that random guy or girl is cute, but that doesn't mean he or she won't murder you. Seriously. Rather than approving everyone who you are not suspicious of, change your behavior to rejecting everyone who has not given you a reason to trust them.

4) If you have diarrhea of the mouth, make your profile private - if you find that you can't keep your mouth shut, keep the profile private. Your drama is your own, not the world's. Be sure to lock out the looky-loos who only want a laugh (at your expense).

5) When you slip, be sure you cover your tracks on all networks - so you posted something you don't want your wife or boss or friends to see on Twitter. You promptly deleted it. Just remember that your Twitter account probably syndicates to your FriendFeed, your Facebook, or any number of Social Networks. You have to cover all your tracks... leaving even one is just as bad as leaving them all.

6) NEVER discuss illegal activities in public - You engage in innocuous activities like smoking weed, trespassing into abandoned areas, or underaged stuff (drinking, sex, or what have you): no big deal, right? As harmless as you think they are, guess what? They can be used against you in a court of law. Thinking about deleting something right now? It's too late: server backups and court subpoenas can completely nullify your damage control plan. The best thing is of course to avoid such activities, but if you must do them, NEVER EVER document them in public, not matter how strict your privacy settings are. No photos, no stories. Nothing. Speaking in code is not much of a help either. Keep those convos offline!

7) Don't go click-happy - Social networks are littered with users you want to exploit you in one way or another. Degrees vary but it is never harmless. Don't click on something just because a friend posted it... it could be a clever trap cooked up by a hacker who knows a lot more than you do. A good rule of thumb to follow (not just on the internet, but in life) is to reject all unsolicited offers. Accept only what you went out seeking, and avoid those who seek you.

8) Dummy up, you - While it is very convenient to sign up using your main email account, yahoo, gmail, hotmail, and many others offer free email accounts that don't require any identity verification. Make a dummy email address just for social networks and use that to sign up. Set it to forward to your regular mail, and you've effectively created a layer of security from lead scrapers (people or bots searching these sites for email addresses to spam) without any impact on your web surfing habits.

9) Secure your intellectual rights - If you did a badass drawing, wrote an amazing story, or produced some other form of content, you have to take precautions. Though you want to share it with the world, be sure to secure your rights first! This means two things: 1) read the terms of service. Some social networks reserve the rights to what you publish, so by virtue of posting it on their site, you are in effect handing over intellectual rights. 2) Post copyright information within at the end of the post: simply posting a copyright notice can help immensely if you ever have to duke it out with would-be infringers. If you make an image, a little watermark can also be useful. Don't let people steal your creative works.

10) Share this information with your network - Maybe all of this is obvious to you. What about your friends? Suppose you are planning a surprise party for your girlfriend or boyfriend. You made all the arrangements and are ready to smack your loved one with the surprise shindig of a lifetime. The your buddy casually posts this comment:

Good luck with the Party tonight, bro! Sorry I can't make it, but I'm sure Heather will love it! She won't know what hit her!

Um, yes, she will know, thanks to that comment. As cold as this sounds, your closest confidants are your biggest security risks. Be sure that they are on the same page as you to keep your private stuff private.


If you follow these simple rules, you can easily avoid most of the problems created by Social Networking sites. I would offer additional advice via email for those who request it, but there is no chance in hell I'm giving you my real email address. I don't know you.